A Terrible Realization

There are a few things ruining my TV watching experience right now and it is really bumming me out.

Firstly, Bones is pissing me off in general – with Emily Deschanel being the exception. She has stayed in character like woah. Her Mr. Charmington bit this week was pretty hilarious.

So the thing is, I know I’m not getting smarter. In fact, I’ve had little to eat and a fairly good amount of drinks tonight, so I know there are more than a few brain cells swimming in a pool of whiskey right now. In any case, this points to the fact that television is getting more and more dumb. I didn’t explain it well which proves my first point.

Tonight we watched Psych, which I love, Law and Order:SVU, which I’m so-so about, and now Bones, which I’ve loved until this season. I have predicted the course of these shows within the first ten minutes each time. This means the shows are being written more predictably and to boot,Bones is getting more ridiculous and has been starting out way more grossly than usual. I can’t watch it while eating anymore.

That’s just the beginning of my meltdown. The second part of my meltdown comes from commercials like the one I just saw for the video game Just Dance 3 that made fun of “older people” dancing to C+C Music Factory’s “Everybody Dance Now”. While I may be slow, I do understand that one plus one equals me being old. I’M NOT READY FOR THIS REALITY!!

So there you have it.
P.s. Bones and Booth have no chemistry now that she’s knocked up.

The Ghost of Lisa “Left Eye” Lopez Lives With Us

Mah boo and I have both felt as though we were in tune with some supernatural forces from the time we were very young. For me, it’s usually been dreaming about scenarios and conversations that would eventually take place pretty much verbatim. It’s always kind of freaked me out because I never know which of my dreams will end up taking place in reality, but thankfully it doesn’t happen often enough to where I start pimping my services out on a bad daytime talk show.

This morning, for no reason at all, I woke up at 5:30 with TLC’s song and video for “Unpretty” in my head and it wouldn’t leave. The part of the video that kept repeating in my head was when Left Eye started doing the sign language for their lyrics. When MB (mah boo) got up at 6:30, she looked at me and said, “For some reason I have that ‘Waterfalls’ song in my head.” So…I think it’s totally reasonable to assume that the ghost of TLC’s Lisa “Left Eye Lopez” is hanging out in our condo. Of all the ghosts that could be hanging out here, I guess she’s a pretty good one as long as she stays away from our fireplace.

Speaking of “Unpretty”, that’s a tough look Mel C. Tough. Look.

On another weird note, when I went looking for a picture of Left Eye, I found that there are a lot of people who think her death had something to do with the Illuminati. Should I take cover?

Mood Music

As I’m waiting impatiently to receive the “yay” or “nay” phone call from the company I am most excited about working for, I have realized just how stressful all of this really is. The idea of not having a full time job with benefits lined up has turned me into one seriously crazy bitch. The worst feeling: I can’t seem to stop myself.

Every time the phone rings or every time I see the little email wheel spinning to tell me I might be getting a new message, my stomach does flips until I see the phone call is a wrong number and the email is just the same press release I’ve gotten three times over each day for the past week. Needless to say, my usual smile and laugh has been replaced with some minor doom and gloom but some major growls.

Peggy SuePeggy Sue (formerly Peggy Sue and the Pirates) have an album dropping today, Acrobats (stream at Spinner), which suits my mood pretty well but also seems to match the vibes of some of the other artists I’ve been into lately, such as Radiation City and Dark Dark Dark. It is moody, yes, but not quite angry and not dark to the point of feeling as though all is lost.

I’ll enjoy this for now, but I’m really looking forward to when I can comfortably be happy singing “All I Want for Christmas is You” again.

My Mom Was The First Drag King I Ever Met

If you were a child of the 70’s or early 80’s there’s a pretty good chance you had the book

Where Did I Come From

Where Did I Come From” (or at least I’m hoping I wasn’t the only one). It was a book for a liberal household whose parents didn’t necessarily want to explain the birds and the bees to their children but didn’t mind reading about a loving, naked, cherub cartoon couple.

The book taught me many things, much to the delight of my camp counselors whom I repeatedly told the story to as a five-year-old. What the book didn’t teach me though, is that beyond the shared physical characteristics of your parents you also sometimes get their mannerisms, their sensitivity and possibly even their unique interests.

Those of you who know me either from life or from the Internet most likely are very aware that pop culture runs through my veins. I can answer things from Jeopardy that I didn’t even realize I knew; I am more interested in Saved By The Bell trivia than I am in politics and when I hear the name Tiny Tim I think of the high-pitched ukulele player first and the Dickens character second. Why is this? Well, it’s because of where I came from.

Somehow, while my mom and I didn’t live in the same house after the age of 6, her love of pop culture was instilled in me. I have been on the receiving end of phone calls that start with, “Did you know such and such porn star is Jewish?”.

One of my very early memories involves my mom and the short-lived competitive lip-synching show, Puttin’ On The Hits. It was the early 80’s and the hair was big, the competition was fierce and my mom was ready to compete. I have wished upon a star that video footage of her performance exists, but I haven’t found any. The great news is, there are a few pictures.

My mom did not go as Susana Hoffs or Teena Marie. You can bet your ass Marie Osmond wasn’t even being considered. And while close, Sheila E. didn’t do the job. Instead, she performed as his royal purpleness, Prince. So when I ask, “Where did I come from?”, the answer, quite simply, is here -this is where I come from:

My mom as Prince