This is a bit of a departure from what I usually post here (or don’t, as the case may be in recent years) but if you’ve read my bio page, you will know that I have hopes and aspirations of being recognized as the female version of Weird Al Yankovic. In an attempt to get closer to that goal, I was lucky enough to get the blessing from my boss to rewrite the lyrics to Dolly Parton’s “Jolene” and record “Toe Beans” on company time. I hope you will enjoy.
Foam Rollin’ With Da Homies
Hey there friends, runners, and those who are cursing my name while clocking miles! It’s been such a long time since I’ve done a check-in that WordPress doesn’t even look the same anymore. I didn’t think too many more things could make me feel older but here we are.
I’ve continued to restart my Couch to 5k training every year — some years are a little better than others — I actually had a PR last year at a fun run to benefit dogs. I think it helped to be distracted by all of the cuteness around me and the promise of petting more dogs after crossing the finish line. (If you like the sweatshirt design, you can get it here)
This year I’m trying something completely new and completely scary: strength training. I’ve avoided it like the plague because it usually makes me feel very “ouchy” and any amount of time spent on squats usually has me falling down the three stairs leading to the bedroom when my legs give out.
But, as I’m getting older, I’ve been feeling a bit weaker. Also, my allergies have gotten so bad that I’ve basically developed asthma. When the opportunity to do a free 5-day strength training program came up, I decided to give it a shot and ended up enjoying it so much that I signed up for a 16-week program. It turns out I can lift much heavier things than I ever would have imagined.
I’ve been very sore but for some reason my legs aren’t giving out? Taking that as a huge win. One thing that has helped me with the sore is foam rolling and …I dunno if you’d call it hard rolling or what, that doesn’t seem right, but I’ve been using this little octopus looking hard plastic thing that has been a serious lifesaver. My wife and I sit on the couch just rolling ourselves with deep sighs while binge-watching Six Feet Under for the first time (we just finished The West Wing).
The foam roller I use now is different than any of the others I have tried (and given to Goodwill) in the past. The Rollga foam roller has these grooves that hit you in the right place and I don’t know the science but I can tell you it feels much much better than a regular one. It is also roughly the size of an elderly pug.
The octopus thing though…that is the real VIP for me. My IT bands are apparently super sensitive so any attempt to use a roller on the floor has me dropping F-bombs and quitting almost immediately.
I use it on my legs and my shoulders pretty much every night. It’s on our living room table so any time I look at it I usually take it for a spin. Here’s a pic I just took of me and my new bff:
As soon as I took it out of its packaging my wife was like, “Oh yeah, it will hit all of the neuro lymphatic points.” I have no idea what any of that means, but I can say that I have been shocked at how much it has helped with recovery. Full disclosure: I won the Rollga products and wasn’t really expecting to use them so much. They gave me my own discount code though in case I liked it enough to let people know about. Obviously I do. And since I got to pick my own code, you can use LESSCHUBBYJONES to get 15% off their products.
I will try to post more often here and give some updates. What I just noticed while posting this was that I can already see a difference between the picture of me from last year and the one from just now. The one above was in June of 2022, so something is working! Hoping all of you are doing great and that you keep challenging yourself with things that scare you, while also remembering to be kind to yourself. It’s something I’m working on too.
The Most Interesting Songs I’ve Heard This Week
One of the saddest movies we were ever subjected to as children was based on Ray Bradbury’s short story, All Summer In A Day.
It’s the one where this little girl who lives on a different planet where it rains all the time, gets bullied and ends up locked away during the one day the sun comes out and everyone is too psyched to be soaking up the sun to go and get this poor child out of the closet until it’s too late. That is how my soul feels right now. It’s been a long ass winter and Seattle has basically turned me into a shell of myself.
To put an end to my doom and gloom and try to wake my brain up from its hibernation status*, I’ve decided to listen to music again and even share the stuff I really like with anyone interested in listening.
*I will be doing the same for my body, which currently looks and feels like a white chocolate marshmallow, but I’m giving myself until Monday because there’s a few things in the fridge I’m going to pound into my face before beginning any sort of “lifestyle change” regimen.
And with that…
SONG OF THE WEEK: Nick Hackim – The Want
For the briefest moment, I was like, “Did someone from Duck Dynasty perform at SXSW?” but then this angelic voice came forth and gave my soul a massage and wrapped it in a steamed hand towel.
Final Verdict: Smooth like a Rob Thomas/Santana collaboration.
John Andrews & The Yawns – Painting a Picture
Final Verdict: I can almost see the sunset and feel my feet in the sand.
Afternude – American Spirit [SUBLIME MUSIC]
Final Verdict: Will be listening to repeatedly any time I have a big cleaning job/impromptu Zumba routine around the house.
Sage The Gemini – Now and Later (Merk & Kremont Remix)
Final Verdict: This song makes me nostalgic for my childhood. My friends and I would hit up Mr. B’s after school where I’d spend half of my allowance on Garbage Pail Kid cards and Now & Laters. I lost a lot of brackets on my braces to those.
Final Verdict: My need to dance to this song is a definite sign I’m ready for Spring to get sprung up in this bish.
Adult Karate – Mirrors *Side C (Mix)
Final Verdict: Age of Aquarius vibes
Eye Of The Needle (ft. Grace Park)
Final Verdict: Grace Park’s tender vocals wrapped themselves around my heart.
The Kraken Quartet – Chance The Dog (The Song)
Final Verdict: They tagged their song with #mathrock and I didn’t hate it. It’s dreamy and, if I’m being honest, kind of classy.
Couch to 5k Week 9 Version 4
Hey Homeslices, I’m back with a new podcast to round out version 4 of this series! Since it’s 2017 and, well, EVERYTHING, I did things a little bit differently (like, very, very slightly different) at the beginning of this podcast. If you don’t like change, try it anyway. If you are completely resistant, you can fast forward to about the 2:40 mark to start our usual walking warm-up.
Chubby Jones Couch to 5k Podcast Week 9 Version 4 (right click “save as”)
Our soundtrack today includes the following:
Chubby Jones C25k Week 8 V4 Podcast
Unfortunately, the podcast host I use to publish to iTunes hasn’t updated my storage like they should have, but even if I had all my storage for the month, it wouldn’t be enough for this Week 8 Couch to 5k Podcast (right click “save as”), because it is packed with JAMZZZ!
I didn’t want to make you wait any longer, so while I try to figure out my storage situation, you can get your run on.
Start with your 5 minute walking warm-up, and then get your head together to run/jog/walk/twerk for the next 28 minutes.