Ok first I was like, “Aw, isn’t it cute that this little country dude is doing his line dancing with his much taller younger sisters? But then, shit got crazy when poltergeist entered the building and the sexy line dance turned into a demonic crawl on the floor that looked like something out of a Sarah Michelle Gellar horror flick (I love you Buffy!).
What I’m about to show you is probably something no one should ever have to witness. That being said, you should totally check it out. The man below bears an odd resemblance to Perez Hilton while his dance moves came straight from the Buffalo Bill “I’d fuck me” ballet academy.
For anyone who thinks I’m only picking on him because he’s fat, you couldn’t be further from the truth. I am picking on him because he man-handles his own moobs and proceeds to kiss them while cupping them. Obviously I’m jealous because I can’t (or really won’t) do that to my own lady lumps. I need a drink.
Ok, yes, Usher can make some very sexy music, but when you’ve got two incredible dancers writhing around to his song, “There Goes My Baby”, you basically need to take a cold shower, grab your partner, call an ex or take your libido-killing anti-depressants by the fistful so as to calm your nether-regions. A big thanks to choreographer/dancer Scotty Nguyen and dancer Tracy Shibata for getting my Monday morning to start a bit sexier than usual.
The footage is a little grainy and I don’t think choreographer and Dancing With The Stars pro Louis Van Amstel has children, but if you squint your eyes just so…
Nice moves daddy-o! Seriously, it’s like Lambada made love to the Twist and then topped it off with some very kinky Carlton dancing. Bieber can really do that to you. $10 says these girls burn their Bieber posters after this.
Ten dollars says she wins it all on Dancing with The Stars in the next two years.
Chubby Jones 