Whip My Pop Episode 7 – Shit is Getting Weird

I produce this video for AfterEllen.com but figured, hey, why not spread the love/weirdness? This episode features a cameo from my pal Bashley who reminds us that sometimes even the pretty people are vatos locos forever. You can read her funny ass stuff over at StraightLesbian.com and follow her on Twitter over heeya. Also, Butter Dance.

TV Rant: Extra Has Got To Be The Worst Show On Television

Can someone please explain to me why Extra is still on the air after 18 mind-numbing seasons? Yes, EIGHTEEN seasons. That is 17 more than Wonderfalls, 16 more than Dead Like Me and Pushing Daisies and 15 more than Arrested Development and Veronica Mars (though the last season or two made it pretty difficult to blame network execs for the VM cancellation). But still, Extra has outlived these great shows and its only content is reading only somewhat reputable magazine headlines in dramatic voices.

Today’s show featured the following “big stories”:





You have got to be fucking kidding me with all of these – but the last two in particular.

First of all, NO SHIT there were signs of a breakup for Kim & Kris. I’m sure E! had nothing else planned for their fall schedule and this was the only way to ensure people would watch anything with those two dumb-asses in it. I’m sure Kim thought the world would be sympathetic to her failed relationship when it was planned out in the script meetings. I’m sure Kris Humphries is too dumb to have thought much about anything besides patting himself on the back for having people believe he was boning Kim.

Look at how uncomfortable this picture is! I’ll bet Kim wore that distractingly ugly dress so that it’s all you are able to focus on instead of their fake relationship.

Now, on to the never-ending Jen Aniston/Brad Pitt “story”. If they almost ran into each other while going to see a matinee of The Twilight Saga: Breaking Hymens I could understand a near run-in between the two being deemed a newsworthy story. I would also really like to see that movie. But developing entertainment news segments to talk about what almost was the possibility of a brief interaction or occupied shared space between two people who divorced six years ago is enough for me to give up on television and try to start reading again.

Don’t even get me started on my nemesis, Mario Lopez. He might be good-looking to some of you but he and his dimples are one big black hole of man-whoring douchebaggery.

I think it’s time for us to stand up, America. It’s time for Extra to go away. Do it for the children, do it for yourself, do it for Zack Morris.

America’s Next Top Model: Oral Fixation

It’s the second episode into the season and America’s Next Top Model All Stars are crankin’ up the heat! By heat – I mean the girls had to take pictures of themselves eating hot dogs while trying to represent their own brand. The challenge may as well have been called “Kama Sutra With A Side of Fries”.

I’m no prude but this girl is licking chili sauce off of her arm while the rest of her footlong is standing at attention. I’m a little disappointed in Tyra. I understand that these are her advertisers but it seemed like she was pimping out her contestants for the sake of her client but to the detriment of being able to take the show seriously. I call serious bullshit on someone who tells me they can sell “Classy” while eating a foot-long hot dog.

Tony Bennett ft. Lady Gaga: “The Lady Is A Tramp”

Lady GagaLady Gaga is at the top of my list of celebrities I cannot stand – but she is there for much different reasons than most. It is not her lack of talent, her unconventional use of meat products for clothing, her lack of underwear or her face that bother me. What bothers me most is how she defends her “work” as being so cutting edge and innovative when, for the most part, she has recycled songs and/or schtick from artists before her and calls it her own.

I saw her perform at Lollapalooza two years ago and walked away completely bored. I thought I was going to see a spectacle but came away with nothing to write home about. Even more interesting: I left Gaga to watch The Strokes and was absolutely blown away by their performance even though they pretty much looked like hipster statues with moving mouths (side-note: this might be a great concept for a Logan Square Chuck E Cheese). Eventually everyone else will grow tired of the foie gras tampons and she’ll have to figure out who she really is.

What makes this so maddening to me is knowing somewhere under all of that flashy uncomfortable wardrobe is someone with an incredible amount of talent. While you may not be able to catch it on her own albums, you can definitely hear it in this rendition of, “The Lady Is A Tramp”, from Tony Bennett‘s album, Duets II, which comes out tomorrow.

via Tony Bennett ft. Lady Gaga – The Lady Is A Tramp (Full Song) – YouTube.